


Never left

by slamflash



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Canon Compliant, Daddy Issues, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Endgame Fix-It, Father-Son Relationship, Fix-It, Funeral, Gen, Grieving, Hurt/Comfort, I need this for myself ok I love tony too much, Iron Dad, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Endgame, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, of sorts, soothing, spider son
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 09:11:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18601474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slamflash/pseuds/slamflash
Summary: AVENGERS: ENGAME SPOILERSWhat I would have liked the writers had actually put in the story. Based after /that/ scene that left us very much not okay and inspired by the events of "Stark disassembled" after Civil War II (I haven't read the comics, I just liked that idea)EDIT: probably abandoned concept, I dunno if I'll post the 2nd (and final) chapter, soz





	Never left

**Author's Note:**

> So uhhh, I'm trying to put this into 2 chapters. It was originally thought of as a one shot but then it got lengthy (and angsty) and I wanted to dedicate a full chapter to the fluff reunion. Also, sorry abt my writing but it's been YEARS since my last ff (and english isn't my first language). Hope you enjoy, I'll try to update asap :)

 

The funeral had been thought out to be intimate. The majority of the heroes had showed up to pay respect to Tony Stark: the grand visionary, futurist, inventor and, what had been most underline by the overall tone of the function, one of the heroes that had helped save the earth multiple times, and now the universe. 

A couple of people who were close to him had given a short speech. Rhodey talked about their years at MIT, Happy had hinted at how grateful he was for the opportunities he received throughout the years, and Pepper closed the ceremony by describing how proud she was. She was proud of his successes, his failures, the way he became the man he ultimately was, the father he had become, “a beautiful human being, inside out” she had said. 

“When we think about Tony, we think about his greatness, his genius, his kindness, but it’s easy to forget that among the superheroes and earth-invading alien forms, he was the most human. He was afraid, at times. He knew about the fragility of his being, about the human condition. His suits have always had some sort of duality to him: they represented both salvation and danger. He was constantly bettering himself, to prepare for whatever tomorrow might have held. He always cared deeply about other people, even if that trait might have shone through only in the last years. He was a friend, a husband, a mentor--” she briefly looked up at Peter with a sympathetic smile before returning to look at the flower bed she now held on to like a lifeline  “-- a father.”

Peter felt chills crawl up his spine as he watched Pepper turn to put the old arc reactor on the water in front of the gathering. This felt wrong. How is it possible? He can’t be dead, he can’t be dead,  _ he can’t be dead _ . Peter couldn’t bear to think about it, his heart felt heavy, beating too fast and too loudly. Would everyone hear him? Would they have accused him of being selfish? 

_ Think about his daughter! How do you think she’ll cope, she’s only 4! _

_ Think about Pepper, she was the love of his life, her wife, her best friend, she’ll never get over it! _

_ Think about Rhodey, he has known Tony for decades, they have shared half a life. _

_ Think about Happy! Think about Bruce, think about the other heroes, about the world… _

_ Think about… _

_ … _

_ Think about Ben. _

He closed his eyes shut and lowered his head to hide a grimace of pain. At that moment he felt May’s hand carefully rest on his shoulder and give a comforting grip.

He tried to will his intrusive thoughts to leave his head but through his mind’s eye he could still see the reactor floating away, then he had flashes of Tony’s body on the battlefield, then Tony, alive, hugging him.  _ Why is there no body? Where’s his body? Why aren’t they showing him one last time? _

He tried to concentrate on his breathing, as he distractly heard Pepper finish her eulogy, remembering about his school therapist. Deep breath in, long breath out. He felt May caressing his shoulder with her thumb.

Peter felt like he might have been crazy, there must be something wrong with him, to compare himself to all these other people who knew Tony more than he did. To even remotely consider himself more, to think this might have been a harder hit for him more than others. But he did think that. 

Moreover he felt mocked. He felt  _ insulted  _ by the universe, this great bitch they had just saved collectively. He wanted to scream, to hug him back one last time, to make sure he knew he was amazing, incredible, loved. Yet again another father-figure gone. He immediately felt ashamed to recognize Tony as such when he lifted his head again to look at Pepper and Happy exchanging a one armed hug, the other engaged with holding Morgan’s little hand.

He quickly wiped at his tears and May pulled him into a strong hug, rubbing his back soothingly. “May, I’m so sorry” he heard his voice crack at the last word.

“Honey…” she started, and she sounded so heartbroken “you know it’s not your fault.”

He closed his eyes again and after a sob escaped his throat he whispered back “I know” even if he didn’t truly know at all.

 

\----

 

After the funeral had ended he had remained seated at the bottom of the wooden stairs while occasionally standing up to shake hands with fellow avengers and heroes departing towards their homes. There was a boy he didn’t know, about his same age, that had walked towards him with his hands clasped to his jacket but then he had turned away, towards the main road without looking at Peter again.

He felt the adrenaline crash through his body, he couldn’t hold it. He hugged himself as he began to tremble, while his senses provided him with too much information. He heard Happy talk to Morgan on the porch on the other side of the house, he heard May walk towards him, he felt the stairs push against his body, he saw the garden, the light, he heard birds, he knew Pepper was inside at the moment, sitting on the couch where they had seen Tony’s message. He heard her heartbeat, he felt his own heartbeat. He tried to calm down but there was this other rhythmic noise pushing his way through Peter’s ears. The air vibrations were regular but faint. He straightened up and strained his ears to catch more of this unnatural sound. May stopped in front of him with a perplexed expression.

“May, uh, wait here for a moment okay?”

She could only nod before he stood up and went inside the house. His spider-sense tingled as soon as he had entered the living room area. He tried to pick up on the noise’s source while Pepper stood up from the couch with a slightly concerned look. “Peter? Is everything okay?” He glanced at her “Uhm, Pepper… could you please follow me? I think there’s something...” he trailed off without giving a proper explanation and decided to tensely turn away when Pepper nodded, leading the way through her house. He felt like this might be inappropriate, and he noted to himself he should probably apologize about this later. Going all spider-man mode on a widow right after her spouse’s funeral might not have been one of his greatest moves by far.

They navigated through a couple of rooms before they entered one of Tony’s lab rooms. He heard that the beeping was stronger now. Peter directed Pepper to a big armoire and he gestured towards it. She moved to open it and it revealed Pepper’s Rescue suit. It looked amazing, and nostalgically beautiful all the same.

Peter placed his hands on both sides of the helmet and gently pulled away, bringing the suit’s “head” towards him like if he wanted to wear it. Pepper noticed the blinking LED inside of it and brought a hand to her mouth in shock.

She wore the helmet and after the biometric scan was completed a recording began playing. 

Peter looked at her with concern, because she had started to shake a little and then sob before saying something to the suit’s AI. The voice command brought the recording to the room’s speakers.

“... and I knew this time would come. I didn’t want to leave you and Morgan alone, so I created one of these little side-projects of mine. I know this might not be ideal, and it’s totally up to you to decide whether to activate it or not. Pepper, you hear me? You have no obligation towards this. This was just a test in case things went south, because I knew we were risking so much with our last fight against Thanos. And you know I wanted to protect you, that’s why I built this suit: because I knew you would have helped me anyway, this way it was safer. You’re a hero Pep, you’re my rescue. I love you.”

Peter felt incredibly out of place in that moment, he thought the recording was too personal and that he should probably go call Happy to comfort Pepper before asking anything. He went for the door but was stopped by her saying “Stay”.

 

\---

 

After she had calmed down she explained what the recording was about. Tony had left a backup of his memories right before battle. He had used an advanced multi-layer neural network to recreate a sort of virtual brain that retained the function of a human brain. He had basically  _ uploaded  _ and created a virtual version of himself. 

The only thing to do now was to decide whether to activate the A.N.N.A. protocol (or Artificial Neural Network Appendage).

Happy had helped Pepper by bringing her to the kitchen to get something to drink and after a couple of minutes she had stopped shaking. Peter, seated near her, was looking at his shoes uncomfortably while May had entered the room with a questioning look. Morgan was in the living room dully playing with some of her toys.

Pepper turned to Happy “What am I supposed to do now? He’s… he’s dead. He’s not here anymore. But then… he also created a backup for his brain apparently. We could see him again, talk to him.” She gripped the edge of the table to steady herself. “I don’t know if I want to do this. I don’t know if I can…” Happy rubbed Pepper’s back lightly before replying.

“Pepper, as you just explained, he said you didn’t have to do this, you have the choice to and you shouldn’t feel obliged to activate the protocol, right?”

“Sure, it’s on me, uh?  _ I _ am the one that has to decide on whether to bring back Tony? Is that what you mean? Because if that’s so, it looks like I don’t have a choice here. Because I either do what everyone expects me to do, or I am selfish.” Happy wanted to contradict her but she went on   
“It’s not even him  _ him _ . It’s an elaborate simulation that has all of his memories prior to the final battle. I have seen similar things at S.H.I.E.L.D., agent Coulson had shown me Life Model Decoys. They are hideous, they look exactly like real people but they aren’t. They even have thought patterns to mislead telepathics or something.” She sighed.

“Though if I did activate it, I couldn’t leave him like that… leave him to be a self-aware AI. He would actually be a person, and that’s not morally acceptable. He had even updated Friday’s protocols so that she could have slightly more freedom…” This time Happy cut in

“Pepper, calm down. Let’s think about one thing at a time, alright? I know this is overwhelming, but… there’s pros and cons to both choices. You just have to decide what you would prefer.”

She tiredly turn to Peter. “Pete? What do you think?”

He widened his eyes and pursed his lips panicking.  _ What do I think about it? It would be both amazing and scary _ . “I think, uh… I think you should choose the option you’re more comfortable with”

“That’s not really an opinion, is it?” she grinned slightly at his reaction.

“Well uh, ma’am.. I mean, Pepper, I mean…” She put a comforting hand on his shoulder and after a beat his eyes swelled up with tears, 

“I think I would like to see him again” he whispered.

Pepper pulled him into a tight hug and after a while she sighed and nodded. “Okay.”

He pulled away sniffing “Okay?”

She looked down and then at Morgan, in the other room “We’re doing it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think abt it in the comments because I'm just a mess uhhh... also, I'm seeing endgame again this evening with my mother so may a second rewatch fuel me enough to finish this mess. Also remember that Tony loves you very much. Not 3000 though, you're more in the 600-900 range... but he does love you very much.


End file.
